The Day I Quit Drinking

I went home
Left behind the responsibilities-
Paperwork, bills, dishes in the sink-
Traded for time on the porch
A notebook and not a screen

We played soccer
I had a beer in hand
And I passed out at seven
To the sounds of my family
Making dinner
The scent of
Hamburgers and corn
And when I awoke at night
Clear and filled with shame
The decision was obvious

Tired now
Exhausted
Resigned
I quit
Left the unopened bottles
In my parent’s fridge

Something needs to change because
The amount of time spent
Wishing myself out of my head
So much time
Drinking to get out
Drained the next day
This is not life
This is not me

Some days
I can’t leave my couch

The questions are still there
The unease and anxiety
Boredom restlessness forgetfulness
Fuck

From this black couch
These beige walls and beige carpets
Beige floors and counter tops
This apartment vomits beige
Vomits a reflection

The question:
What now?

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2 thoughts on “The Day I Quit Drinking

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