New Computer = Awkward Date

My laptop of five years finally gave me the blue screen of death. I don’t really know if that’s still a thing, but it was blue, and it was dead, so I guess it must be real. Being very much not in the market for a new computer, yet in need of a new computer to do such things as bill paying, writing, job hunting, and any other item necessary that are just easier than with a smart phone, I conceded.

This laptop, from what I gather, is not a laptop but a something else? The guy didn’t say what, so I have no clue what this piece of technology  is, except that it is mirroring a laptop  and lurking around my house. What I can say is that the speed in which it processes things is absolutely brilliant. This is coming from the person who could walk away from her old Toshiba, make a pot of coffee, and maybe, if I was lucky, the WordPress site had come up. Things are moving well, except for the awkwardness of not knowing one another.

Think about it: This new person that you’ve only met briefly decided to ask you out and you, deciding to take more chances, have accepted. You’re going for a coffee, so, what do you wear? What are you going to talk about? Ugh, small talk! What if they are a Trump supporter and you rode in their car? How do you get away from this crazy person? What if the amount of emotional support they can offer will leave you vulnerable to mean, soul destroying malware? Run away!

It’s been five years since downloading AVG free and getting rid of all traces of Norton from my last computer. But this new guy? He has McAfee. I’ve never used that, I don’t know that program. It turns out, this McAfee, he’s only buying you dinner once. After that, all the dinners are you! And not to mention Cortana. I don’t know what that stupid Cortana search thing on my taskbar is, and have yet found a way to make it leave. It’s awful and taking up space. Go away Cortana!

It’s difficult to navigate my way through technology, which is, for the most part, pretty predictable. Dating, well, that’s another story.

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