I’ve been stuck in this strange interim for the last two months, existing day to day in this weird, jobless state. Some days are amazing; I clean my house, rake the whole yard, write pages and pages of fiction and poetry, write detailed blogs analyzing life, and spend an amazing amount of quality time with my child after school. Other days, well, not so much. On those days, I sleep all day to bad TV shows. Life feels scary and oppressive. The reprieve comes after school when I pick up my child because he is so happy, so loving. And on those days, I think to myself that I need to get my shit together and be what he deserves.
Today was different.
I don’t know what specifically sparked a change in me, but I finally completed my resume, updated all pertinent information, registered with Manpower, and filled out a bunch of applications online. It’s been so long since I’ve had to apply anywhere, I’ve become terrified of this whole process. Interviews, cover letters, resumes, oh my! Overwhelming is a word to describe the process, but in a college city, it feels even more so due to the amount of younger talent floating around in the city. However, I have years of experience doing myriad different jobs and duties. I have so much life experience it’s not even funny! So, I think, tomorrow I will apply for more jobs. And the next day.
About a week ago, I helped check in and count money for Cub Scout pop corn sales. It was a small task, tiny, lasted about an hour, yet I felt a great sense of accomplishment. I guess I never realized how closely my work ethic was tied into my feelings of accomplishment and self worth.
The time has come to get my professional life in order so I can keep my personal life in order, and have the confidence to begin my academic life once again next year.